Saturday, July 26, 2008

distractions....

I have been writing lately, mostly working on Sasha's story (current working title 'Village Witch') but am back to another edit of AfterQuest based on some great feedback (retired English teachers make good beta readers!).

Another distraction cropped up last week in the form of 'Dr. Horribles Sing-A-Long Blog', a internet musical that was released in three parts. I watched it at least five times on the free feed, then settled down to wait for the DVD release. Couldn't wait for more than a day. I had to sign up for iTunes and download it. Still waiting for the soundtrack and the DVD and I'll buy anything this team of writers and songwriters come up with in the future.

Fortunately, I can now listen to it while editing on the other screen (thanks to my husband for splitting my computer into three montior/keyboard/mouse combinations so I can multi-task even more than before!).

Official website: www.drhorrible.com

Friday, May 2, 2008

edit finished!

The latest edit of AfterQuest is finished. Now I'll send it to my continuity checker, then hopefully the beta readers will have finished Taarwysha and I can interest them in AfterQuest.

Ever since I first finished this thing, I've been working on the best description of it. With four main characters, it's been hard trying to tie it all together succinctly. If I break them apart, it's easier (if a little tonge-in-cheek).

For Elsie: Girl meets Elf, girl loved Elf, girl loses Elf. Elf gets girl back.
For Kenny: Football player learns to be swordsman, saves the city, and gets the girl.

The query 'hook' I'm currently playing with focuses more on Elsie since she goes through the biggest changes in the book and it starts out:

Like a real-life Alice or Dorothy, Elsie Conners was in a strange land without a way home, only stories of a device that used to exist. She's with three other Humans in a city of Elves with a Troll invasion imminent. The Elves tell Elsie she has the ability for telepathic communication used by a handful of Elves and agrees to be trained while they search for the way home. She falls in love with a telepathic Elf and is in mental contact with him when he is attacked in a jungle ambush. Dazed and depressed, she continues to help the Elven council during the final days of the battle and the four Humans are sent home.

Back at home, she persuades her parents that she is fit to return to school, hoping to reunite with the others who'd been in the Elven city with her, hoping they might be the key to returning to a normal life.

It needs something more. I'm hoping I can get beta readers to tell me what struck them as the main plot points so I can emphasize those points in the hook.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

under 150K!

I finished cutting and pasting AfterQuest back together today. My goal was to get it under 150K, preferably in the 120K range -- I still have the last third or so to polish and the word count is 128,623!. Using the character count divided by 5 method, it's even shorter: 117,000. I tried wrapping my mind around whether that means my average words are longer or shorter than 5 letters and gave up. I probably use 'the' a lot. And Elves have long names.

Back to polishing - maybe I can cut another thousand words or so....

Friday, April 18, 2008

Happy Anniversary EE

Dear Supreme Evil Editor,



Thank you for the entertainment and education you provide for us minions on a daily basis! Even if I don't post, my day isn't complete if I don't check your blog.



jill

PS - late to the party! I can't believe I forgot to publish this last night!

Contest of Swords scene cut from AfterQuest

Setup - Kenny is one of four contempory college students who find themselves on another world in an Elven city. This scene took place after they'd been there for a month; Kenny has been training with the city's swordsbearers after a little boy (the son of the city's council leader) insisted he be allowed to join them.

Cut scenes - Contest of swords:

It was the second full day after harvest was finished. Kenny had gone running early in the morning and returned to find Matt just staggering out of his room after having spent a late night stargazing. Amber was just finishing her breakfast and leaving to meet Canredreal for hair styling tips. "Sounds like fun," Kenny deadpanned.

"Shall I have her save some ribbons for you?" Amber teased. Canredreal had been flirting with him during the dancing on the previous night, but he had just teased her back without responding to her innuendoes.

"I don't think my hair is long enough," he answered, running his hand over his recently trimmed head. The shaver Galranadra had provided the men worked for his hair as well as his beard. Amber left; her long hair swinging loose behind her and Kenny grabbed a roll to eat on his way to wash up after his run.

"How long do you think you can keep running once the rains start?" Matt asked before Kenny left the room.

"Ehlendrehan said I should be able to run in the great hall or in the arms hall when the storms are too severe to run around the roads," he answered after swallowing the mouthful he was chewing.

"Have you been able to spend any time finding a way to get us home?"

"Nope. Ehlendrehan said there would be more time during the raining season and we could start regularly meeting with Cornaleias then."

"You don't sound real concerned."

"We didn't have any control over getting here. I don't really think we'll have any say in when we get home. We'll make more progress if we find out who was behind our being here." Kenny popped the last bite of the roll into his mouth. "My mom is probably awfully worried, though. I wish we had a way to let them know I'm OK."

"My mom wouldn't be expecting to hear from me for a couple of months, at least." Matt said.

"My roommates will be wondering where I am, though," he added thoughtfully. "Speaking of where they are, did you see Elsie this morning?"

"Not since last night at the dance. She's an adult, she's probably still with Ranolalon." Kenny went on into his room for a bath, ducking as he went through the doorway. Not as quick as a shower, but the bathtubs here were very nice, a lot like a hot tub at home. If he ever did get home, he'd like one someday. Maybe he could get the team trainer to let him use the whirlpools in the locker room as long as he was at school. If he got back, he reminded himself. Matt could be a downer. Except for missing his family and worrying about the state of his scholarship, Kenny was enjoying his time here. He'd never traveled to a foreign country before, and this was more foreign than he'd see on Earth.

By the time he was washed and dressed, again impressed by the style and colors of the clothing made for him, Matt had left the outer room. Kenny fixed a meal for himself and ate in the silent room. Another big difference here was the silence. No radios, no televisions, no computers, or video games. Elves preferred to keep busy with tasks - sewing, cooking, making things for their homes, or practicing skills in their free time. Once celebration was over, he would have to ask Cornaleias to introduce him to Dhorinsren or Hormanshin so he could ask about duties he could perform in the farming groups. Or maybe, he should look into the engineering group. They sounded like they did mechanical things, building and maintaining the machines used by the other task groups.

After eating, he got his swordbelt and removed the sword carefully from the scabbard to clean it. The hilt had a curved guard to cover and protect his hand and was modestly carved with symmetrical designs. The blade was straight with sharpened edges on both sides and a razor fine point at the tip. There were even designs carved into the base of the blade.

The scabbard was a different material. Not the same metal as the sword, but hard enough not to be damaged by the blade. Ehlendrehan had said that the scabbard would not dull the edge as it was withdrawn or inserted. His swordbelt was tightly woven of a strong fiber, he examined it for any wear or damage, though either was unlikely in the short time he had used it.

There was still time before the celebration would start on this day, he tied the belt on over his sleeveless tunic and slowly moved through the warm-up movements used by swordsbearers then progressed smoothly into the routine he had learned at the last practice. Fortunately, the area between the couch and the dining table was open enough and the ceiling was high enough that he could make full movements with his sword arm. When he finished the routine, it felt like time to go. He still wasn't sure how he was following the time or the schedule here, but without clocks he still knew when it was time to get up, when it was mealtime, and when he had to be at the arms tower. Matt had tried to explain to them that the time-awareness might be due to the city's proximity to the equator, which put sunrise and sunset at almost exactly the same time year round. Elsie had suggested that it might have been part of the language program that had been input into their brains. Kenny wasn't sure which it was, maybe a little of both. But he hadn't been late for anything yet.

His swordbelt carefully stowed on its hook; Kenny left the apartment and went out of the palace towards the park for celebration. No sooner had he entered the crowd did Chrendalar grab a hold of his hand.

"Kenny Jones, are you entering the contest of swords?"

"I don't know." He smiled at the little Elf; it was hard not to like him, even if he always seemed to latch onto Kenny. Or Elsie, Kenny reminded himself. Some music was playing from the stage, harvest songs, they sounded like. Kenny offered his young friend a ride on his shoulders and lifted him up when he immediately accepted. "Are your parents nearby?" he asked. The boy pointed and Kenny made his way through the crowd towards the council lord and his partner.

"Mommy, Daddy, I found Kenny Jones!" his rider crowed as they approached his parents.

"Good afternoon," Kenny greeted Holrashaanor and Jiesselana. "May I escort your son for a while this afternoon?"

"Certainly," Holrashaanor answered. "Just send him back here when you start the contest of sword." He walked away before Kenny could mention that he didn't know if he would enter yet. Kenny did hear him say to Jiesselana, "It does make our giant look less intimidating when he has a child with him."

He hadn't been aware that he was intimidating to the Elves. He was quite a bit taller and did look different, with darker skin, short, curly hair and occasional facial hair. Oh, well, none of the Elves had been running from him or avoiding his presence. So far, he and his fellow Humans appeared to be well received as a curiosity if nothing more. He counted several of the swordsbearers as friends already.

He and Chrendalar moved closer to the stage to watch. Many in the audience were singing along with well-known harvest songs and Chrendalar started to sing along also. A clap on the back made Kenny turn to look around Chrendalar's leg, which was blocking his peripheral vision. Canredreal and another swordsbearer, Sunhandra, had found him in the crowd. Not that it was that hard of a task, given his height.

"Are you ready for the contest?" Canredreal asked him.

"I do not know if I will participate," he answered. "But all the swordsbearers always compete," Sunhandra protested.

"I am very new as a swordsbearer," Kenny began. "I do not know enough to compete."

"All the better for the rest of us," laughed Canredreal, reaching up to nudge him in the ribs with her elbow.

"Kenny Jones will win the contest!" Chrendalar declared stoutly, defending his hero.

Kenny patted the boy's leg. "Thank you for your confidence, but I do not expect any great victory if I compete."

"You will, we all do," Sunhandra said positively. She looked at Canredreal. "Can we request our opponents for the first round? Maybe I should ask to fight the Man." Srengendas and Maaslenseran joined them and she asked them if they knew whether she could request her opponent in the contest.

Srengendas laughed when she explained why. "But you always do well in the contest, you will not need to request an easy match. Besides, I have seen our friend here in a sword to sword contest and I do not think he will be as easy an opponent as he claims." Chrendalar patted Kenny's shoulder to call his attention to the stage. Music had ended after the last song was finished and now the instruments were being removed to the back of the stage. Ehlendrehan strode onto the stage and stopped at the front. There were cheers of congratulations for his joining before he could begin speaking.

"It is now time for the contest of swords. Could all those interested in the youth contest come forward please?"

Kenny twisted his neck to look up at Chrendalar. "Are you interested?"

"I must wait until I am old enough to enter," he said sadly. As young Elves came out of the crowd to stand before the stage, Maaslenseran warned Kenny that the youth contest would take some time and they had better get something to eat and drink before the real contest started. Kenny lifted Chrendalar down and offered him to Canredreal who hoisted him onto her hip then followed Maaslenseran and Srengendas to the serving tables for drinks, fruit and cheese filled breads. They each carried enough back to share with the others.

The warning had been accurate; each pair of contestants was drawn by lots, who then began a swordfight within a circle. The victor was the one who was able to force their opponent out of the circle, disarm them, or drive them to the ground. Some of the youths were skilled and provided an exciting contest to watch. A small percentage of pairs were badly mismatched and lasted only moments. After all had battled the winners from the first round drew lots to compete for the later rounds until the final two were on stage. Kenny was impressed with the caliber of swordswork both showed, and more impressed with the stamina they possessed after five rounds of mock battle.

"How many rounds will be in the swordsbearer contest?" he asked the others.

"If everyone enters, at least six," Srengendas answered. "A few of the elder swordsbearers do not participate and Ehlendrehan is exempt as captain. And because his new partner won't want him coming home exhausted tonight." They all laughed at the absent leader's expense. The bout on stage finally ended when one stepped back and placed a foot beyond the marking line. There was loud cheering for both participants as Ehlendrehan presented the winner with a silver sword.

"Any of the top dozen or so would make fine swordsbearers," Sunhandra said. "I hope they apply when they reach the age." From the stage, Ehlendrehan called for the swordsbearers and any other interested contestants to approach. Kenny took Chrendalar from Canredreal and left the boy with his parents near the front of the throng.

Kenny joined the rest of the swordsbearers and other entrants before the stage where they were to select a practice sword from several chests. He looked at several before finding one with a hilt large enough to accommodate his hands. The practice swords were made of polished wood, of the same weight and balance as the real swords, but with a less keen edge and blunted point. Ehlendrehan had them draw lots for the first round's bouts and they stood to one side of the stage while the first pair made their way to center stage.

Kenny's first match was not until near the middle of the first round and he watched the early contests with a close eye towards technique. There did not appear to be many differences between fighting with the practice swords and the test match Ehlendrehan had engaged him in. The fighters started in the center of the circle with swords drawn and the flats of the blades crossed and touching. At the signal to start, they began battling, trying to disarm their opponent or force them from the circle.

There did not seem to be a great advantage in size in the early rounds, but then, there wasn't that great a difference in size in any of the Elves. Smaller and quicker Elves had just as much advantage as larger and stronger swordsbearers. Some of the non-swordsbearer contestants were quite good. Canredreal explained to Kenny that the Elf in the circle had always been good and had trained with the swordsbearers in the past but had not had the time to commit fully to joining the group. Sunhandra easily won her match early in the round and Srengendas won his in a close contest just afterwards. Maaslenseran was disarmed and forced down by Frindrehen a few tests later, despite Frindrehen's smaller size and much shorter reach with his blade.

"Too bad," Canredreal consoled him as he joined them in the holding area. "He is awfully quick this year."

"I need to learn to block that move of his at the base of my sword that flips it away. It is good that we are using the practice swords. I may have lost a finger or two if the blades had been real." Maaslenseran was still rubbing the fingers of his right hand where they had been stung.

"Since I am done with the contest, I think I will have some sengol to recover. Does anyone want me to bring any water?" he teased. Contestants were only allowed water, no food or anything with recuperative or stimulating results during the contest to make it as much a battle of endurance as skill.

Sunhandra waved him away. "Go join the audience, then. You can't bring it back here." He laughed as he wished them all luck and strolled off into the crowd. Losing his match didn't appear to have damaged his reputation, Kenny observed. Several female Elves surrounded him as he walked through the audience, showing concern over his injured hand and making much of his skill.

Kenny was called to the circle for the next match and walked up to face Tanlargren, an Elf he recognized from swordsbearer practice, but didn't know. He rebalanced the hilt in his hand and tightened his grip as he greeted his opponent, then raised his sword to meet the other. At the signal, his opponent drew back his sword and hit the blade against Kenny's, then spun around and twisted the swords together. Kenny held his blade strong and pushed back before dropping the contact down and sweeping his sword around in an arc behind him to bring it down towards Tanlargren's right shoulder. Tanlargren expertly countered the move and blocked Kenny's blade with his own and pushed the taller Man backwards. Kenny caught himself after two backward steps and braced his legs in a defensive posture, holding his sword before him. Tanlargren came towards him, sword out and braids streaming behind him. Kenny met the sword blow with one of his own and they traded blows back and forth, pushing each other first one way, then the other. Tanlargren spun right to come at Kenny's sword and Kenny took advantage of his opponent's braids across his face and the momentum of his spin to drive him further to his right. Tanlargren took three steps back before regaining his balance and vision and Kenny pressed forward in an offensive attack to drive his opponent back another few steps over the line until the bell sounded that signaled the end of the match.

Kenny lowered his sword and accepted Tanlargren's congratulations. Man and Elf transferred their swords to their left hands and grasped one another's forearms with their right hands in the Elven handshake. They left the stage together and rejoined the other swordsbearers.

"Well done!" Canredreal congratulated both of them.

"Thank you," Kenny answered, wiping sweat off his brow. "That was a lot more work than a practice. I would like to practice against you sometime, Tanlargren."

"I would like that also," the Elf replied. "Good luck in the rest of your matches." He walked off towards the serving table for sengol and a place to watch the remainder of the contest. Canredreal was up soon after Kenny and she fought a close contest until she glanced out at the crowd and missed her opponent sweeping towards her. When she saw him in her peripheral vision and tried to move out of the way she lost her balance and was easily forced down to lose the match. Her opponent offered his hand to help her up; then walked off the stage with his arm around her shoulders.

"What have I told you about paying attention?" Sunhandra scolded. "You were doing well until you looked at the audience."

"I know, I thought I saw someone I was looking for," Canredreal answered, without any remorse. "Now I will be the one to go off and rest while you have to keep working."

"Did she lose on purpose?" her opponent asked with a frown.

"I do not think so. She is easily distracted," Srengendas answered. "You fought well, Hanlashon. She would like for us to think that she is relieved to be done with the contest already." Hanlashon remained with them while they watched the remaining bouts in the first round.
Since lots would be drawn for each successive round as well as the first, Kenny watched each carefully to evaluate the techniques used by each swordsbearer. He was rested by the time the first round was completed and stepped forward with the other first round victors to draw lots for the second round. As in the first round, pairings were not announced until each pair took the stage. Srengendas was in the second bout of the second round and won fairly easily against the only contestant who passed the first round without a match.

"It is unfortunate when there are an uneven number of contestants," Sunhandra sighed. "The second round should be a little more difficult than the first."

"On my world, we have a saying 'Be careful what you wish for'," Kenny warned her. She laughed, along with Hanlashon and Srengendas, who had barely broken a sweat in the bout. Sunhandra was called to the stage next to compete against an Elf with many years of experience in sword contests and had a hard fought battle. The pair went back and forth many times; always reversing before either stepped over the line defining the circle. Finally, Sunhandra blocked his stroke and quickly spun around to knock his sword out of his hand before he had time to recover and won the match.

The audience cheered loudly for both participants as they shook hands and left the stage. "I think we may be able to learn from the sayings of your world, Kenny Jones," Sunhandra said, gulping the water Srengendas offered to her and wiped the sweat from her face and hairline, pulling her braids back away from her face. She thanked her opponent for the match as he left to rest and watch the remainder of the contest. There were three more matches before Kenny was called to compete against Frindrehen in the circle. "Watch for his disarming move," Sunhandra warned as Kenny walked past her to the stage.

Frindrehen greeted Kenny warily as they crossed their swords. At the signal to start, he went on the offensive and forced Kenny to brace himself and defend the rain of blows. Kenny countered each with a blocking move, moving his sword from high to low in response to each of Frindrehen's strikes. He was over a foot taller than the Elf, which made blocking the lower blows more difficult. Seeing a pause in Frindrehen's attack, Kenny lunged towards him with a strike to his opponent's blade. Frindrehen was caught off-guard and swung wildly at Kenny, hitting Kenny on the back with his sword. The blow was a hard one and Kenny almost lost his footing, but caught himself with a hard step forward. Kenny quickly bent his knees and raised his sword in a ready position waiting for Frindrehen's next move. Frindrehen had just regained his balance and was settling into his own ready position.

They crossed swords back and forth until Frindrehen twisted his sword under Kenny's at the hilt. Kenny recognized the start of the move that had disarmed Maaslenseran and gripped his hilt with both hands to brace against the move and keep a hold of his sword. The tighter grip and increased leverage from Kenny's height enabled him to keep his sword. Turning, he was able to hit Frindrehen's blade hard enough to knock it from his hands. The bell sounded, announcing the end of the match. Kenny reached to shake his opponent's hand but Frindrehen left the stage without acknowledging him.

"A good match, my friend," Srengendas congratulated him, offering water. Kenny thanked him for the water and twisted his upper body, stretching the muscles hit by the wooden blade.

"The rest of us should try your method to block that disarming move," Sunhandra said, "though I think your extra height helped you the most." Hanlashon agreed that Kenny's size had helped, but that it had been quick thinking that won the match. Kenny thanked him as he kept stretching the muscles under the quickly forming bruise.

After three more matches, Hanlashon was called to the stage for a long match that finally ended when he drove his opponent backwards until he fell rather than stepped outside the circle, giving Hanlashon the win. He returned from the stage to stand by Sunhandra while they congratulated him and watched the final matches in the round.

The sixteen contestants remaining for the third round drew lots as Ehlendrehan called out their names. Kenny was called onto stage for the first match of the round, against an Elf he hadn't met at swordsbearer practice yet. Ralastilna greeted him as they crossed swords in the center and he smiled back and wished her luck. They started slowly, taking each other's measure, neither wanting to make the first offensive move. Ralastilna made some tentative thrusts and cuts with her sword and Kenny blocked them smoothly. He followed his blocks with sweeping moves back at her blade, which she blocked.

Still testing each other for weak points, they sped up the motion, trading blocks with their blades. Kenny wasn't tiring yet, but his back was beginning to ache from the blow in the previous round. He did notice Ralastilna breathing more heavily, and her braids were beginning to stick to the sweat on her face, distracting her from the match. That pushed him to speed up the pace, moving his feet and his sword more quickly. She matched him step for step and swordstroke for swordstroke until she missed contact with his blade when attempting a block. Kenny quickly reversed and knocked the sword from her hand. As the bell signaling the end of the match rang, he bent to retrieve her blade and handed her the hilt with a smile. They shook hands, congratulating each other on the match and left the stage. Kenny sank to the grass between matches and recover some of his energy. Sunhandra handed him the jug of water they had been sharing and he drank thankfully. Hanlashon was called for the next match with an opponent well matched for his skill, but already tired from the previous two rounds and the bout ended quickly with a win for Hanlashon.

Kenny handed him the water jug as he sat on the grass with him. "Good job; it looks as though we are all starting to tire."

"Some more that others -- you look rested already," Hanlashon answered. Srengendas and Sunhandra had to wait until the final two matches of the round before their turns and they and their opponents were more rested than those going early in the round. Consequently the matches lasted longer and both were tired by the time they each won their bout. Ehlendrehan announced a short break before the next round to let the remaining contestants recover.
The audience drifted over to the serving tables, the contestants remained on the grass with their jug of water. Canredreal and Maaslenseran came over to congratulate them on making it to the fourth round and asked how they were faring. As they drifted off, Elsie and Amber walked up with Ranolalon and Galranadra to offer their congratulations as well. They remained on the contestant side of the park to watch the final rounds. Chrendalar saw Elsie and hurried over to join her. His parents followed more slowly and stayed to watch as Ehlendrehan called for the final eight contestants to draw for the fourth round.

Srengendas and Hanlashon were the first pair to compete and they shook hands after repeatedly offering each other the opportunity to climb the steps to the stage first, delighting the audience. The rest period had helped, both had recovered their energy and the match was exciting to watch. Both were skillful and used moves Kenny hadn't seen before, spinning and turning to catch the opponent's blade and block a strike, then reversing and offering an offensive sweep of their sword. It went on longer than any match so far in the contest did; but finally Srengendas won by forcing Hanlashon to step outside the circle. Hanlashon raised his opponent's arm in victory as the bell rang out. Kenny clapped along with the rest of the audience at the show of support and sportsmanship. The next match paired two skillful fighters that Kenny watched with awe. He didn't think his extra reach and weight could counter the experience they exhibited. Kenny was called for the next match against Sunhandra and he offered her his arm to escort her to the stage. He wished her luck as they crossed their swords in the circle waiting for the signal to start. She had been quick in her earlier matches, but he hadn't appreciated just how quick until he had to keep up with her. Sunhandra was everywhere, jabbing, sweeping and blocking with her sword. Again he was glad they competed with wooden blades, it wouldn't take much of a slip on his part to be impaled on her sword. His sword clashed against hers again and again. Her braids were pulled together in back and did not impair her vision. She was not tiring any quicker than he was. In fact, he had had to work to keep up with her. At the last minute, he saw the circle line just behind him and her sword sweeping towards him. In desperation, he jumped in the air, tucking his feet to avoid the blade. Twisting to land facing her, he saw that the momentum of her blow had carried her forward and outside the circle, ending the match. Smiling at him, she raised his arm in victory as their friend had done earlier.

"I did not imagine you could jump so high, or I would have aimed higher, friend," she said as they left the stage to wild cheering. Sunhandra went to drink her fill of sengol while the final match of the round went on. Again, two well-matched, skilled swordsbearers. Kenny had met both; they had years of experience. The match ended abruptly when one of the pair landed sideways on his ankle after a leaping turn and fell. His opponent dropped to his side to assist him and called for the healers. She helped him to his other foot and supported him to a seat where the healers could bind his ankle and foot. The bell had already rung, proclaiming her the victor, but she protested to Ehlendrehan that he had had an accident and that she hadn't won due to her ability. Ehlendrehan overruled and insisted she accept the win, as her skill had contributed to his unbalancing.

Round five started immediately with the draw for order. Kenny, Srengendas, Shalandrehal from the final match, and Trislenganon from the second match drew lots and handed them to Ehlendrehan. The swordsbearer captain announced Kenny and Shalandrehal to compete in the first match of this round.

Kenny watched her as they mounted the stage. Although it was hard to tell an Elf's age by appearance, she gave the impression of being older than he was and undoubtedly more experienced in swordswork. Like Sunhandra, her multiple braids were pulled back from her face, grey ribbons holding them back. She was slender, but with well chiseled muscles visible through her close-fitting sleeveless tunic.

They entered the circle and wished each other good luck as they crossed swords. At the starting bell, she whirled around and swung at him from the opposite side her sword had been on. Instinctively, he countered with a block and remembered to make himself step forward into her offensive movements to prevent being backed out of the circle. She didn't allow herself to be backed towards the line and instead led him around a circle within the boundary.

She was so quick; Kenny could barely keep up with her. He focused most of his concentration on her sword blade, following it and blocking it's every swing almost instinctively. A small part of his mind watched for the line of the circle on the floor so he could avoid stepping over it. His sword hilt was beginning to get slippery from the sweat that had run down his arm so he gripped it with both hands for security. As he tightened his grasp, he caught sight of her blade circling towards him. Just in time, he curved his blade up and into its path, hitting hard enough that her hilt slipped from her hand and flew in an arc through the air. Before the ending bell could sound, Shalandrehal bent to retrieve the errant blade and in the same smooth motion, took Kenny's arm and raised it high to show his victory. He shook her hand with a shake of his head; it should have taken more than luck to reach the final round.

"Until a few generations ago, men in my culture often called females the 'weaker sex'," he told her. "I hope that they never made that mistake here."

"That was great, mom!" A voice from the crowd called out. As they descended the steps, a girl slightly older than Chrendalar came out of the audience and hugged Shalandrehal. "That was really wonderful," the girl echoed again. Shalandrehal handed her sword to Kenny and congratulated him again while lifting the girl onto her hip. The girl peered shyly at Kenny and offered her congratulations as her mother set off towards the serving table. Srengendas and Trislenganon were just stepping up onto the stage as Kenny drank from the water jug and wiped the sweat from his face and hands. He compared Srengendas's calculating efficient style with Trislenganon's more flamboyant leaps and swirls of sword. Trislenganon even dressed the part, his emerald tunic had short sleeves that ended at the base of his biceps, and the shoulders and tops of his sleeves were adorned with long fringe that mixed with long beribboned braids flowing down his back. He used the fringe and braids to great effect with a lot of spinning and leaping in his fighting style.

Kenny was close enough to the stage to see how much the two Elves were sweating, but neither slowed down. Finally, Trislenganon caught Srengendas off guard with a spin that went behind Srengendas and disarmed him from the side. Loud cheers and calls met the victor as the pair shook hands. Trislenganon was breathing heavily as he greeted Kenny at the base of the steps.

"Get some water and catch your breath before we have to go," Kenny suggested, handing him the jug. There was some time as Ehlendrehan announced them for the final round and congratulated all the contestants who were already done for the day. He encouraged cheers for each of the Elves who had made it to the fourth round; remarking as he did that Shalandrehal had been the winner of last year's contest. By the time he was done speaking, Trislenganon had recovered his breath, wiped from his face and hands, and rearranged his hair and fringe to his satisfaction.

"Well, this is it. I know we are both tired, but could we go at full speed and give the crowd a spectacular ending to the contest?"

Kenny wasn't sure how long either would last at full speed, but he answered, "Lead on, I will do my best to keep up with you," as they stepped out towards the circle. From the first sounds of the starting bell, Trislenganon set a fantastic pace, whirling like a dervish, sword slashing this way and that, his hair and fringe flying out behind him. Kenny hoped that the glittering beads braided into his opponent's hair wouldn't sting too badly when they sooner or later whipped into him.

Keeping up with Trislenganon was about all Kenny could do, turning this way and that, blocking strikes from each side, above and below. His hand stung from absorbing so many collisions between blades all afternoon and it was getting close to sunset. Lights had been turned on and the embroidery on Trislenganon's tunic rippled with iridescence as the light played against it. None of the lights were directed so that they would get into the contestants eyes, but the glitter against his opponent's flashy clothing could easily distract Kenny if he didn't keep his attention focused on the swirling blade.

Trislenganon gathered himself for a leap and as Kenny saw him start to turn left in his mid-air leap, Kenny leaped and spun right to meet their swords together. The force from their combined momentum shuddered through Kenny's arms and shoulders and knocked Trislenganon to the stage. The ending bell sounded quickly with some extra flourishes to signal the end of the contest. Kenny reached down to help Trislenganon to his feet and shook his hand.

"Thank you, I could not have kept going at that pace for very much longer," the resplendent swordsbearer said as he rose. As they walked towards the side of the stage, he added, "When Chrendalar said you were a swordsbearer, he must have meant you were a very good swordsbearer. You will do well here with us, Man."

Ehlendrehan called Kenny back to the center front of the stage to present him with the winner's sword. It was much the same style as the one he had been using, but more ornate, with a few tiny jewels set in the handguard above the hilt and the entire hilt and handguard were made of silver. Kenny thanked him as he tied on the belt. The belt pressed his sweat soaked tunic against already damp skin and he wondered how quickly he could get to the serving table for some sengol and some food.

After thanking Ehlendrehan again, he made his way down the steps where Trislenganon handed him a jug of sengol and a clap on the back. Unfortunately, it was on the same spot where Frindrehen's blade had hit earlier and Kenny winced. Trislenganon didn't notice and soon Kenny was surrounded by his swordsbearer friends all offering congratulations. Amber and Elsie with Ranolalon and Galranadra, with Ehlendrehan now at her side, came over also through the mob.
The final contestants and many friends had found a place to sit to watch the remaining rounds and Kenny and Trislenganon joined them. Ample food had already been brought over from the serving tables so they did not need to collect their own. Trislenganon was already seated beside Canredreal and it was hard to tell which one was doing more flirting, both with one another and with all the other Elves around.

"Amber, do you still have that aspirin in your purse?" Kenny whispered. "I might need some later."

"I don't doubt it. I'll go get it for you," she offered.

"No, later is fine, sit and enjoy the party."

Chrendalar came over with his parents. "You are a great swordsbearer, Kenny Jones," he proclaimed in his young voice.

"I have a lot to learn still," Kenny answered. "I found that out today."

"That is the right spirit to become truly great. Remember that, Chrendalar," Holrashaanor told his son. "We must bid our friends good night now. The rains may start tonight and then tomorrow will be a day for lessons and work." Kenny accepted a hug from his young champion and said goodnight as he was borne off by his parents.

"Thank you," Kenny said as Sunhandra handed him the jug of sengol and a plate of food,

"Trislenganon seems to be very gracious about taking second place."

"As long as he puts on a spectacular show and he has an audience, he does not mind where he finishes," Sunhandra answered as they watched Trislenganon flirt with Amber. Then she turned to him and appraised him carefully.

"We will have to find a way for you to wear swordsbearer ribbons. You do not have enough hair to braid, perhaps we could tie them into your hair, or onto your tunics."
The swordsbearer gathering lasted until after darkness fell, but mindful of the imminent rains and the end of celebration, the night ended earlier than the previous nights of celebrating. Matt was already in the apartments when Kenny, Amber, Elsie and Ranolalon arrived.

"Weren't you at the contest?" Amber asked.

"I was there. Good job, Kenny. The contest looked like Zorro doing Sumo wrestling."
Kenny laughed. "That's a little what it felt like." He untied the swordbelt from his waist and laid the new sword on the table. "Amber, could you see if you have that aspirin?"

Elsie looked at him with concern. "Did you get hurt?"

"Just a bruise." He shrugged then leaned left and right to stretch the stiffening muscles beneath the bruise. She made him pull off his tunic so she could look, then asked Ranolalon if he could call Cornaleias to ask whether to send a healer tonight or whether it could wait until morning. The Elf was silent a moment, then answered that Cornaleias was on his way. He also recommended not taking anything yet, so Kenny called for Amber to not worry about the aspirin, yet.

"Will the rains really start tomorrow?" Amber asked, coming back into the room, "There weren't any clouds in the sky tonight."

"It is predicted to start over night tonight. The first clouds of the raining season always blow in suddenly and the first storm of the season is usually one of the worst ones," Ranolalon answered, looking up at the ceiling of the apartment. "Your rooms are on the top floors of your towers, you will probably hear the rains on the roof tonight."

While they waited for the healer to arrive, Amber and Elsie asked Kenny questions about his matches and described for him the reactions of the crowd around them.

"Trislenganon is very popular," Amber commented, "it sounds like he flirts with just about everyone."

"He wanted to make sure we put on a good show for the final match," Kenny explained.

"Was the final rigged?" Matt asked.

"No, nothing like that. He just asked me if we could go at full speed to make it more exciting even though we were both tired. I was kind of hoping that going full speed would make one of us slip up faster so we could be done before we were really exhausted." Kenny stretched his shoulder some more. "I hope we get a chance to spar during practices in the raining season, I could learn a lot from everyone I was up against today."

The door chime sounded and Elsie opened the door to Cornaleias. "So, victory came at a price from your hide?" he asked Kenny with mischief in his eyes.

"It seems so. It is just a bruise, though," Kenny held still while the healer examined his back. Cornaleias finally pronounced that he would be fine and produced a salve to numb the current pain and another to loosen the stiffness that would undoubtedly set in overnight. Kenny thanked him and started to pull the tunic back on, then stopped because it badly needed washing after the day's exertions.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Bugsy

I included 'rider' in the name of this blog because I am a rider. My horse Bugsy is done with a year off from jumping (waiting for a hoof crack to grow out) and we're waiting for dry footing in our home arena so we can remind ourselves how to jump. In the meantime, we've been taking dressage lessons from a very talented college student. Her approach is different than other dressage instructors I've had before - she focuses on the horse's walk, getting the straightness, bend, and hindquarter engagement before we try the same movements at the trot.

Bugsy is a 17 hand black Thoroughbred gelding, the first year I had him, we competed in one combined test (dressage test plus a jumping round). Assorted hoof issues have kept us out of shows since then, but hopefully this year, we'll enter some small schooling shows and some unrecognized events.

He's going so well as a result of these lessons, I can't wait to get us jumping again!

Novel as Puzzle

Queries and Synopsis are hard, no one disputes that. They force the writer to boil the story down to the bare essentials. After finishing a story, I set them aside, make a few editing passes, then try to write a coherent query letter, submit it, rewrite it, submit it again, rewrite it again, more submissions, then start looking at the flaws in the plot.

AfterQuest was too long. I knew that. My last editing pass had the goal of under 150k words. I think I was going to make it, but before reaching 'the end', I started the edit over. One chance remark by one of my test readers (OK, so there's only one who's finished reading it) led me to changing the internal chronology of the story which would lead to the cutting of thousands of words (one cut scene, which I'd like to post here, is 7000 words).

So now, I'm flipping back and forth through the 'sacrificial' copy of the story to get the scenes, content, and dialogue into the new story and in the correct order. Complicating things - AfterQuest starts after the main characters return from an adventure in the other dimension and alternates chapters of the 'present' with chapters of the adventure a few months past. By changing the time they arrive in the other world, I hope to speed things up (now they arrive less than a week before the city is attacked) and keep them from getting comfortable there.

I tried using 3x5 cards when I started this process and stacked them up with the content that would make new chapters and set aside the chapters that would be cut. It kind of worked, but would have worked better if I'd included more details per chapter card.

Once it's done, I'll get back to the next query letter and resume the submit, reject, revise, submit... process.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Genres - some of this, a little of that

Sorting books by genre helps readers (and buyers) to find books more easily. There's overlap in the names and some books qualify under two or more labels. When you query an agent or editor, they expect you to name the genre and I expect they don't react favorably if your label doesn't match their expectations.

AfterQuest is somewhere between fantasy and science fiction. Luckily, bookstores and libraries shelve them together so finding it won't be a problem if it ever gets there. But what to call it? Fantasy and mislead those who demand magic in their fantasy novels? Or science fiction and offend others with the presence of Elves?

One editor I spoke with told me to go by what the book felt most like to me. There's a definate fantasy vibe with the Elves and whatnot so that's what I've been calling it in queries. Butm some publishers state that fantasy = (contains magic). Hopefully, I can someday craft a query letter that grabs an agent's interest and she or he can steer the novel to the publishers who would be most interested.

Thursday, April 3, 2008

New here

Why a blog? There are lots of them out there already. I'm not sure I expect anyone to read this, but I'll try to update once in a while. The internet/chat rooms/webboards/etc have been described as a cocktail party where total strangers meet and talk. Lurkers like me must be the wallflowers who stand around the edges and listen in. I've been a member of several boards over the years and read some boards and some blogs daily but rarely comment. On blogs, that means I had to remember the name I used the last time I commented to that blog, or come up with a new one. On boards, I post so rarely the regulars probably forget who I am between posts. Therin lies the awkwardness -- I feel like I know the regulars (or their internet personas anyway), but no one knows me.

Coming up with a name for a blog was as good an excuse as any for delaying starting. So, why 'writing rider'? I've been riding horses for over thirty years and writing (on and off) about that long, too. In the past couple of years, I've figured out that I use the same part of my brain for both writing and horses. When I'm most active in planning horse activities, my writing slows down. I'm working on training my brain to switch between tasks more efficiently. I've always read, my mom taught me to read when I was two years old. In grade school, I started writing stories, using up the spare time in class when I was done with my work. Unfortunately, they were inspired by Trixie Belden and Nancy Drew but without as much conflict. Horses and family took over my time and mental energy for many years after college (degree in animal science, took only one required writing class) until one fall, the month after loosing my horse to colic I woke up with a story in my head.

That first story, AfterQuest, came with main characters already named, the highlights of their adventure already outlined, but the ending in question. I wrote obsessively for three months to find out the ending. I made a couple of quick editing passes and started on another story while researching what to do with a finished novel-length work. That one only made it through one chapter when the characters from the first one invaded my thoughts. I hope they're both stand alone novels (the second is with beta readers now), Taarwysha is set seven years after AfterQuest and reunites the characters from the first. Another unrelated story, Flowers, is finished and waiting for a good pruning before I submit it anywhere. I'm in the middle of editing AfterQuest again, then I'll get back to work on AQ3 and might finally get back to that poor story left at chapter 1.